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Hi Mike, Thanks again for all your insight and time devoted to this blog. I have a request. Can you put the complete verse reference again at the beginning of each of your commentaries? I find myself scrolling back to the top several times to make sure I am reading the right verses. My 50 something brain doesn't seem to remember like it used to! Thanks again for your devotion to this project! Blessings Angie

Hello Mike and Everyone,

Yes, I have read A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis and agree that it's a poignant and helpful work. One thing I love about C.S. Lewis is his bedrock honesty about how he feels, his ability to air the big doubts and questions of his spirit. I recall one passage in that work where he compared his mother's death and compared it to an island sinking and he felt like an sailor adrift on the ocean of life without a mainland. Having lost both my parents, I can relate to this metaphor.

I also have been helped by Philip Yancey's works. He's another one willing to take on the big questions and share the struggles of his faith.

What impressed my heart in the readings today? The passage in Matthew about "doing for the least of these" stirs my heart. What more could I be doing? What is the Lord calling me to or not calling me to in care of others? For me, it is often a battle of wanting to be sure that I am investing enough of myself in our family and children--but I do not want this to cause me to neglect care for those in the community and outside our home. I also want to model this kind of love and selflessness to our children. It's a fine line and a tough balance.

I remember the night 2 yrs ago when I lost my precious husband. He died of a sudden heart attack at age 50...gone too soon. When his heart doctor told me in the emergency room that he would not make it thru the night, I responded quickly with assurance...that she just didn't know my God. The minute it happened our church prayer chain was started...many were praying for him...and God says...if 2 or more are gathered in His name. She stopped me and said...* I know God too, but I am a heart doctor, and he is not going to make it." I cried, as he passed away a few moments later. I came home and cursed God...I screamed at Him...yelled at Him....and begged for an answer..why why why??? I cried all night, but the next morning God comforted me (He should have struck me dead for talking to Him the way I did). I begged everyone to leave me alone, and I prayed and talked with God all day. I realized that Jay's death didn't catch God by surprise...He knew it was going to happen. He was not punishing me or Jay....God knew the day He knitted Jay in his mama's womb that he would die that night in that hospital. The book I turned to was the Bible...I threw myself into it....pulled out every promise God made...His love for me...and I realized that He has a plan for my life...I just have to be open to it. So now I am living on, and someone sent me a saying I love...Life is not about trying to get thru the storms....its about learning to dance in the rain! So that is what I am doing now...dancing in the rain...bring it on!
Randa ([email protected])

Randa,

Thank you for sharing your story--praise God that this experience has drawn you to Him. It reminds me of the quotation about how the same sun hardens clay or melts wax...

I think that great loss can be a gift in that it opens our eyes to the frailty of life and the transient nature of this world.

May God comfort your heart in your loss and bless you as you dance ; )

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