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I like what you wrote " ... God really is not impressed with our shows of "strength" or "independence." God is much more impressed when we are dependent on Him". I told you about my 'friends', right? Those 'friends' that think I now join some 'weird community'. The 'friends' that probably think "Hmm ... Mae is passioned about what she does lately, so she must join a community ... because when you do things that you really don't want to do, then you join a church". LOL Yeah ... please forgive them.

Anyway, I now know who my real friends are, that means a lot to me. If I have to loose some people that were suppose to be my friends, well, so be it. I couldn't care less. I just hope and pray for them that some day they'll see the light. Well, I'm getting off track here ... What I was saying, I really like what you said about how God is not impressed with our shows of 'strength' or 'independence'. God is much more impressed when we are dependent on Him. That's just so true! Things are getting more clear to me every day! I realize that when I'm just doing the things I need to do as a Christian. Then God will see me, He'll hear me and He'll give to me. I can just do what I need to do and totally depend on Him and He'll give me what I need. For example: last Summer Rene and I hit rock bottom financially. Rene's former boss still owed us money and we really needed that badly! When it really hit us, I didn't have a job so I needed to just GET a job. No matter what it was. This all happened right before I was saved, a week or 2 ... I should say I was in the middle of everything. We hit rock bottom and then I started to go to the church.

Anyway ... I needed a job and with the lousy economy we have going on right here, it was pretty hard to get a job. I had to put my diploma's, workhistory and pride aside, I just HAD to take a job, no matter what it was. We needed money and right away! I just didn't have the time to go through serious and deep interviews and rounds blah blah blah. I just had to have a job, instantly. So I went to an employment-agency and they introduced me to HMS, where I work right now. I had an interview there and I was suppose to start as a parttime tele-marketeer. I was sad, but I realized we really needed the money. With all do respect for tele-marketeers, I don't think any less of them, honestly! But it's just that I always had managerfunctions, so this was a huge step back for me! But I just did it, I went to the interview and for some testings I did the tele-marketing-thing. Quite quickly the manager came up to me and told me they all thought I was too experienced to work as a telemarketeer and they wanted me to work as a Media Advisor. Which personally fit me more. Still not what I had in mind for myself to do, but again: we needed the money. I was happy though that I like the company and I really like the department I work in. When extra people were needed, I just went extra hours to the office, when other departments needed people I would just changed departements for a day or 2. Whenever there was something to do, I'd help out. I trusted the Lord that He'd shine through me and finally someone would notice me and opportunities would rise.

Everyday I go to work, with a smile on my face: I'm a child of God ... and I trust my Father! People started to call me "Mae with the big smile" and 3 weeks ago I had a talk with my boss and he said they would offer me a contract for a year. Which was great of course!!!! And last week ... I had another talk with my boss ... this one's even better ... He told me that 'whatever' I wanted to do within the company, they'd support me, all I have to do is let him know what I want to do. What ever manager position I want, they'll help me. I can choose a school that I want and they pay for the whole thing! So I'll start out soon as a teamleader, then I go to school and will be a Marketing Manager within a year or 2!!! So now, how is that? I depended on the Lord, I didn't complain, I just did what I had to do and He gave me this! Depend on the Lord, being patience ... it will all be allright.

So what I was going to say about my 'friends'. They don't understand how Christians can be in problems or like me having a job that is way underneath of what I can do. They think all Christians should have everything they want, because 'God can do everything, right?". I just smile when they talk like that!! I mean, I'm still Mae! Mae with her struggles, Mae the human being. I'm still the same person! I just found a way to live my life differently. I found Jesus ... But it all doesn't mean that I'm still in a learning process! But come on! The thing that happened with my job, that proves that eventually, when I just be me, when I just do what I need to do, do not complain and put a smile on my face ... I get what I deserve!

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